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Ultimate Fantasy 23 144 Loving Arms

Let me begin by telling you my ultimate fantasy. When I was in college, I went to a retreat for gay men in Florida. There were eight of us in a room with 144 men and only three women. All of us had had sex before we met and none of us ever had it again. All of us had learned to live with the possibility that one night our secret might be revealed. There is no need to get sultry tonight.

One of the women broke down during the lull in the action. We were all in a trancelike state and she blurted out, “I’ve had sex with several men this way. I’ve even had orgasms while doing so.”

“I’ve never had sex with anyone besides my husband.”

“I’ve only had sex with men who were also gay.”

“Therefore I don’t know if I can love you.”

Fuck her!

I’ve always been attracted to men. I was even attracted to boys! But one evening I realized I had fallen in love with someone completely different. No more heterosexual books or movies for me. I was an explorer. I could be anywhere and I could be anything I wanted to be with anyone I wanted to be with.

Have you ever been so in love you fell in love with the entire world and suddenly regretted it the next day?

I could fall in love with anyone. I could fall in love with my television, my computer, my friends. I could even fall in love with my mother. But I did what any good lover would do… I went out and FOUND HIM.

I fell in love with a man!

That’s right. I found a man. A true homosexual! A true HE- man! He was a stay-at-home father, a stay-at-home mother, an Amazon shopper, a stay-at-home homemaker, an Army buddy, a stay-at-home grandfather, an Amazon homemaker, and the President of the United States.

There we have it. You can finally pick and choose among the many loving arms that surround you.

Okay, let’s say I have all these wonderful and beautiful arms. But how do I know which one is which?

I believe in percentages. A big percentage. How many men are in a room with 144? How many loving arms can a man have? Is it seven? Is it five? Is it even a four? Do you know how many feet are in a mile? Or how many fingers are on a hand? Or how many feet is the radius of the earth? And how many inches is the width of the moon? Or how many feet is the length of the Grand Canyon? And how many miles is the width of the Grand Canyon and the length of Manhattan Island? And how many people is the mass of the sun and moon and the earth? Is it six?

There are only six inches between a man and a woman. A woman’s size doesn’t matter. A woman’s curves. There are curves. There are no curves. You can’t see a woman’s curves. All you can see is what you put in your mouth.

I feel so fine. I have forty-seven loving arms. I have 144 bevy of arms.


Do you like to have anonymous sex in public rest rooms? Sex movies? Public parks? Sex clubs? On street corners with heavy hustling traffic? How many nonsexual friendships or acquaintances lasting for decades started this way? How many ways are there to love queers? How many ways are there to queer love?

Let me begin by telling you my ultimate fantasy. When I was. . .



Prompt adapted from A Queer History of Computing

· school, secret, college, trance, stay-at-home, Florida, Grand Canyon, Manhattan Island, Amazon, sun, moon, earth, gay, queer, GPT-2, RunwayML