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Ultimate Fantasy 39 Omigod

Let me begin by telling you my ultimate fantasy. Not that I’m exaggerating when I say it’s a gay communal fantasy.

Well, how about this. . . one night, maybe in Miami Beach, Florida, Or in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Listen, buddy…

Maybe in Detroit, MI. You get the picture. The ultimate in communal fantasy could be in San Francisco.

But I love it here.

I love the queers.

Hated by most of my friends, despised by my family.

But I love queers.

I do.

I’m all for it.

But what if it’s not gay?

You don’t know anything about it.

You don’t know anything about love.

You’re not accepting of any kind of love of any kind.

Well, then…

What do you suppose it is that makes me?

Queers love more than anyone.

Oh, I don’t know. I guess it’s our nature.

Well, if that’s the case, why don’t we just call each other by our first names, like we used to do in elementary school? Like we used to do when we first met.

Don’t even joke about it.

We all seem to be drawn to strong, masculine Omigod… it’s so simple.

Omigod! How could you resist me? Let’s just say you’re attracted to men.

That’s crazy talk, sweetheart.

Let’s just say you fall somewhere in the “Not Straight” or “Not Gay” spectrum.

I just happen to fall somewhere in the middle.

No, you said attraction doesn’t have to be based on sex.

What the hell was that about? I said it has nothing to do with sex.

That’s what you said all along.

I never said anything about not being attracted to men. I just said it has nothing to do with sex.

… so what?

You think I’m “acting gay,” not realizing that your bait-fish is a sex symbol transformed into a meal.

That’s ridiculous. You said you just assumed I was straight.

Well, I don’t think I assumed it based on sex, but on your very own words.

Well, I don’t think I “asked” you. I “asked” him… to come over.

You’re going to start acting funny.

I’m just trying to help you understand.

So, you invited me over just so you could brag to me about how you “converted” him.

I didn’t “convert” him. I “healed” him.

You “healed.” Oh, that’s another word for “reformed.”

And you’re going to tell me how it changed you.

Well, I don’t think I could have been happy with Harvey if I hadn’t tried.

You had every intention of turning your life around. All you had to do was follow my suggestions and you’d be straight again.

What “suggestions” did I “suggestion” you have?

For starters, you absolutely insisted that I get tested for STIs.

And I said no.


That’s funny.

No, it’s not funny. You just said I “asked” you to come over. That’s ridiculous…. Because whatever you may have thought about our relationship, you never asked me to come over.

Didn’t I?

Well, did you. And that’s just what’s “confused.” You “asked.” You CONFUSED.

So, what’s new?


You’ve certainly confused me.

It’s not that simple.

Is there anything between us that you don’t KNOW is homosexual?

Please! There are lots of areas where we MAY be. I just haven’t been exposed to them yet.

Well, you may be right about that one.

I just don’t know.

For the life of me, I can’t fathom how you could possibly be.

I wouldn’t “convert” you just because you asked me over. I wouldn’t “ask” anyone just because they asked me. It just doesn’t add up.

How could it if you’re just trying to say that I’m gay.

Hmmm… maybe it is… just not me.

Let’s take a moment to figure that out.

What’s the matter?

Where do you go from here?


Do you like to have anonymous sex in public rest rooms? Sex movies? Public parks? Sex clubs? On street corners with heavy hustling traffic? How many nonsexual friendships or acquaintances lasting for decades started this way? How many ways are there to love queers? How many ways are there to queer love?

Let me begin by telling you my ultimate fantasy. . .



Prompt adapted from A Queer History of Computing

· gay, homosexual, Miami, Detroit, San Francisco, converted, confused, reformed, queer, GPT-2, RunwayML