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Ultimate Fantasy 54 Bathhouse Comedy

Let me begin by telling you my ultimate fantasy. When I was in high school my best friend and I made love in a school bathroom.

My friend and I were both in the same honors college and had just begun getting serious about getting married. Prior to that, we had only it done once, in a dorm room, and it was amazing. We got wild and had a lot of sex, and we were beautiful.

At the time I didn’t realize just how much I missed having complete control over my own sex life. We never even told each other’s names.

Even now I don’t know how we held our sexual freedom. We loved each other, but not the way most people do.

I was in love with a very attractive young man. Prior had a lot of money. Prior and I were very good friends. Prior was a very rich man. Prior had a whole fleet of expensive cars. Prior was a very powerful man.

The cars, the parties, the sexual conquests. It was all so exciting, and yet I was terrified. I felt as though I was running scared at the same time.

All that romantic high flying, and there I was i lying next to him on the bed, doing bear hug, when all of a sudden he says, Don’t worry about it, I’m not into that kinda stuff. Don’t rush an artist. I can’t believe he actually said that. My jaw dropped.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, what are you doing?

I looked around for anyone else to comfort me but none of them would listen. I began to cry. Finally, someone from my dorm said, You know those guys at work used to give you a hard time just for being queer? Well, they’re going to give you another hard time this year if you don’t get out of line.

Well, it didn’t take long to figure out that this was no ordinary college buddy comedy. A bunch of our theater friends were having a bar-b-que, pretending to be gay. Actually, it was more of a bathhouse comedy pitting two gay high school students against one another.


Do you like to have anonymous sex in public rest rooms? Sex movies? Public parks? Sex clubs? On street corners with heavy hustling traffic? How many nonsexual friendships or acquaintances lasting for decades started this way? How many ways are there to love queers? How many ways are there to queer love?

Let me begin by telling you my ultimate fantasy. . .



Prompt adapted from A Queer History of Computing

· school, high school, college, sex, money, power, comedy, bathhouse, theater, bar-b-que, artist, queer, GPT-2, RunwayML