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Ultimate Fantasy 83 Unnaturally Sexual

Let me begin by telling you my ultimate fantasy. I want to have my entire being, my very being, squirmed out of me so that I am as phallic as possible. Please listen carefully. I want to squirm as far as I can in a pair of latex stockings that have been sewn together. I want to squirm inside a toilet seat made from a pair of bathtub sleeves. In this state, I am at my most unnaturally sexual.

So let me ask you this final question: Who do you think has the right to squirm the most in a place of public humiliation? And most important, who do you think has the right to urinate on my body?

Nobody has to see me squatting in a pair of bathtubs or my shapely butt cheeks jutting out from a tight fit of tight pants. Nobody has to hear me wail in frustration at having to share a toilet with a ditzy teen-ager. Nobody has to see me put on make-up that barely covered my round ass and swollen tits and tell me that I look sissy for wearing a sundress. Nobody has to listen to me describe the humiliation I face when I have to share a public place with an eager group of gawkers. Nobody has to know how humiliated I am to know that it is my right to squirm as I please, as long as it does not put me in the same class with those queers who want to shove me down a well. That is my story, my tribute to the theater of the absurd.


What does it mean for sexuality to be lived as oriented? What difference does it make what or who we are oriented toward in the very direction of our desire? If orientation is a matter of how we reside in space, then sexual orientation might also be a matter of residence, of how we inhabit spaces, and who or what we inhabit spaces with. After all, queer geographers have shown us how spaces are sexualized. If we foreground the concept of “orientation,” then we can retheorize this sexualization of space as well as the spatiality of sexual desire. What would it mean for queer studies if we were to pose the question of the orientation of sexual orientation as a phenomenological question?

Let me begin by telling you my ultimate fantasy. . .



Prompt adapted from Queer Phenomenology by Sara Ahmed

· queer, GPT-2, RunwayML