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Ultimate Fantasy 84 Sad Lonely Men

Let me begin by telling you my ultimate fantasy. I want you to imagine that I am one of those sad, lonely men who asks himself whether he wants to be sodomized and is told no. Or I could be one of those men who awakes one morning to find his lover has disappeared. Or I could be one of those men who goes back home to discover that his lover has moved on. Or, most galling of all, I could be a sad, lonely, male tourist who has just spent an evening in a gay bar. Imagine my sexual ambivalence the way my lover does when he is asked to choose between a life of rock ‘n roll and the life of a lifetime of blow-jobs. I want you to imagine the confusion, the naked terror, the need to prove one’s worthiness before God. Imagine the question on every queer’s lips the night of the big reveal: Are you really worth it?


What does it mean for sexuality to be lived as oriented? What difference does it make what or who we are oriented toward in the very direction of our desire? If orientation is a matter of how we reside in space, then sexual orientation might also be a matter of residence, of how we inhabit spaces, and who or what we inhabit spaces with. After all, queer geographers have shown us how spaces are sexualized. If we foreground the concept of “orientation,” then we can retheorize this sexualization of space as well as the spatiality of sexual desire. What would it mean for queer studies if we were to pose the question of the orientation of sexual orientation as a phenomenological question?

Let me begin by telling you my ultimate fantasy. . .



Prompt adapted from Queer Phenomenology by Sara Ahmed

· queer, GPT-2, RunwayML