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Ultimate Fantasy 90 Anovulation

Let me begin by telling you my ultimate fantasy. I am a gorgeous young woman in a sea of menopause. As I approach menopause, I become incredibly feminine. Soon I will have no menopause, and I will look like a young Donna Tartt. Soon my hair will have fallen out and I will have thick, wavy hair that I can grow out as many braids as I want. Soon I will be known by my thick hair that hangs down to my ankles and drapes my figure in matching evening gowns. Soon I will be able to turn on an overhead light and be recognized by thousands of people waiting to see me. In this manner, I can become beautiful, long live my life.

I have practiced these actions on myself and have found that, when I do them, my clitoris turns from one end of the penis to the other in a rhythmic dance. I call it anovulation. All of this may sound very dramatic, and it is, but it is also possible for me to be truly satisfied. I have found that, in order to be satisfied, I have to have something to hide. Desire turns to insatiable. The more I hide, the more I want. This is why I hang on. Look closely. My skin has begun to turn golden.

In sharing these stories, I do not have a simple message or a particular argument to convey. Like Ursula Le Guin, I wish, instead of looking for a message when we read a story, instead of looking up, we could think about the words, the sounds, the smells that emanate from a story.

Seed

In this chapter, I share a number of stories from my experiences of becoming-queer, of methodological anarchism. these stories are not true, for I am in agreement with the notion that there is ‘no such thing as a true story’. Nor do they follow a single line of direction or desire; they connect to each other in many ways. they form a rhizome. In sharing these stories, I do not have a simple message or a particular argument to convey. Like Ursula Le Guin, ‘I wish, instead of looking for a message when we read a story, we could think, “Here’s a door opening on a new world: what will I find there?”’

Let me begin by telling you my ultimate fantasy. . .

Corpus

Credits

Prompt adapted from Queer Methods and Methodologies

· queer, GPT-2, RunwayML