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Ultimate Fantasy 99 The Straight World

Let me tell you about my ultimate fantasy. My fates have aligned so perfectly that I am able to travel between the worlds and realities of both men. And, boy, have my travels enthralled me!

You know, sometimes I get so worked up thinking about all the heterosexual couches and booths and waitresses at Studley’s and All-American Express that I can’t wait until my next vacation to burn those down! When I travel, I want to see Donna Reed in a Cathysick Gone Girl tuxedo and Matthew McConaughey in Under the Skin. I want to see Jamey Rodewald in Under Siege. I want to experience all the ick that comes with taking a dump in a public place.

My boy! The straight world has perverted me beyond belief! They let those sissy bags float down the highway and they think they’re cruising when they’re really delivering packages of joy and love!

With all this in mind, I thought I’d stop by the Men’s Room to chat with some of the Breeders myself.

Hey! How ya doing?

Great! Threshold, I finally made it into the straight world. All I had to do was learn my place.

You still couldn’t tell me anything about your travels, huh?

Well, since I moved here, I haven’t had the time to sit back and soak up all the ick that’s been churning around. See, I was living in the boondocks.

But you moved here and all of a sudden you’re cruising the gay bars and cruising the cruising!


“Dude, we were so gay in this film, so gay!” While it is comforting to know that the dudes understand that they were participating in a queer universe, the DVD makes clear that this was a temporary state of affairs and that both dudes are now safely secured for and by the heterosexual matrix. So while the film’s queerness cannot be located at the level of identity, we can argue for queerness as a set of spatialized relations that are permitted through the white male’s stupidity, his disorientation in time and space.

Let me begin by telling you my ultimate fantasy. . .



Prompt adapted from The Queer Art of Failure

· queer, GPT-2, RunwayML